Well, it's obviously been a while since I wrote. I think I am going to start back up again. Only I decided I really want to blog about my journey as a mommy. Right now, what is on my mind is getting my baby to establish good sleep habits.
Just to preface this new time in my life, let me say... I am now a mom. My daughter is 9 1/2 weeks old right now. She is the most beautiful baby girl I've ever seen, but then again I am biased. She had a full head of dark hair when she was born and still does. I can still remember my life before her but can not imagine not having her in my life in the future.
Before I had my daughter I read this book called "Babywise". Some people may have heard of it. Others might not have. I naively believed that if I followed this book my baby would start sleeping through the night in record time and I would be well rested and my baby do everything it was supposed to just like the book said. HAHAHAHAHA.... well, now I realize that life is not like that. You can't just read a book and expect your baby to operate like clockwork. My baby is not a machine. She is an individual with her own needs and wants and personality and quirks, etc. My baby has not read Babywise. She doesn't know that she is supposed to sleep when it is naptime. She doesn't realize that she should eat when she wakes up and not again till after the next nap...BUT she does know when she's hungry, she knows when she's tired, she knows when she's happy. Like my pediatrician told me, babies know what they need. You need to listen to your baby. When I was in the hospital and then shortly there after, I could not fathom how any resemblance of a schedule was going to work with my daughter as she slept ALL the time and if I did not wake to feed her she wouldn't wake up. She hardly had any wake time and she woke up multiple times during the night to eat. ... Well, at about 3 weeks old things started changing. I noticed that she spent a little more time awake and aware after she was fed. I decided maybe a schedule of sorts "might" work. I would just ease into it. If she was hungry sooner I'd feed her. But I'd let her guide me into the schedule. Wake up, feed her, let her have a little wake time, when she was sleepy put her to bed, then repeat the schedule. If she slept too long I'd wake her up so that she wouldn't go more than 3 hrs between feedings. This seemed to work and we started falling into a "routine" of sorts. I could never keep consistent times. Partly because we never got up in the morning at the same time. Over time, things got better. We started getting up about 7 or 7:30 and this really helped the day become more consistent but I still never had "set" times that I fed her, it was more of a repeating 3 hour routine, feed, waketime, sleep, repeat.
Then at some point I started nursing her before I put her down for sleep. I can't remember how this started exactly. It seems like maybe she wouldn't settle one day and seemed hungry so I fed her right before I put her down and she settled down. This became a once in a while thing, then gradually became our norm. I don't think she fully relies on it even now, but she does seem to calm right down and get drowsy quicker if I let her nurse a little. Sometimes she is actually drinking alot, but usually I can tell she's just sucking to soothe herself. I should add, she won't take a pacifier. She only took one in the hospital for the few days we were there, then never again. I don't know why. I really never pushed it on her because they said not to because of nipple confusion. Maybe that's why she won't take it. But I know she definitely uses me as her pacifier at times.
My sister encouraged me to stop nursing her to sleep. I told her it was only a once in a while thing and that I really didn't see the need to stop that she didn't rely on it to go to sleep. I still believe she doesn't rely on it, but she certainly does go to sleep quicker. I read several articles that said it is just fine, babies eventually grow out of this. Especially if you can put them down and they go to sleep just fine. Which she does.
My daughter is now 9 1/2 weeks old. She was doing really well for naps. I had used a method of gradually getting her to sleep , we'd do a rocking/nursing routine, then lay her down swaddled and then if she cried or fussed I'd go back every few minutes to calm her and shush her and gradually she hardly needed this at all, then not at all. She'd go right to sleep. Suddenly it seems she's regressed. She had her first shots last week. I don't know if this has any effect or not. She slept on my lap all evening after her shots. She was miserable, crying, moaning and whining in her sleep. She wouldn't eat, she'd wake up and cry and kick her legs and cry all the harder, then pass out and go to sleep again. So the next day she was back to normal, but I did take it easy on her and we were off schedule. Several times over the weekend we had gone out and she didn't get the sleep she needed. She would fall asleep and then wake up with the noise of people and places. So I don't know if this is all part of the downward spiral or not.
Now I lay her down in light sleep and she acts like she'll sleep, then wakes anywhere between 5 and 15 minutes later, crying and kicking. If I pick her up, she nestles in my arm and calms right down. She doesn't want nursed, or rocked, she just wants held. So ... Is my baby now addicted to sleeping my arms? Is she just at a weird phase because of her age? A few people said maybe it is her age, being more aware of her surroundings. I think maybe both. She is very very aware, she smiles, coos and looks around alot. When I rock her to sleep, sometimes even when she is tired, she'll just lay there and smile and grin and coo at me then get really sleepy, her eyes drifting closed. I think she also just likes being held and doesn't want put down.
So today I tried soothing her, putting her down with some soft music and she went to sleep for about 10 minutes then woke up crying again. I went in and picked her up and did it again, and she slept another few minutes this time a little longer. This last time, I moved the swing into her room and when she woke up I cradled her and then put her in the swing and turned it on. I left her upper body wrapped but strapped her in. I know she'll sleep like this because when she wakes out of a nap early and isn't hungry but just won't go back to sleep, I have put her in her swing for the rest of her nap and it works great. I just didn't want to rely on it for naps. But after yesterday, I would rather have her sleep than get over tired. Yesterday , for almost an hour she fought sleep. She'd get drowsy, sleep a little, I'd put her down, she'd wake up, we did this for almost an hour, by then she was fussy. So I put her in the swing for another half hour and she slept.
I just don't know what to do sometimes. I feel like I am doing something wrong. I will NOT do cry it out. I feel it is un-kind, and in humane. My baby cries to communicate, why would I ignore her and let her fall asleep alone feeling like her mommy doesn't care to come to her when she calls out. I won't do this to her.
I am reading the No Cry Sleep Solution and going to try this method. I am going to work on my sleep logs and write out a sleep solution/routine. We'll see how it goes. I will blog about it here. She says to stick to your plan for 10 days then evaluate it. So that is what I'll do.
Before actually making my sleep solution, my goals are this...
1. Help my daughter to go to sleep and stay asleep at naps so that she can be well rested and when she has brief awakenings she'll be able to go right back to sleep on her own, easily.
2. Help my daughter go to sleep at nap times without much help other than a nap time routine
3. Help my daughter sleep through the night.
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